There’s a clock on an empty wall upstairs in my grandparents’ house that calmly rests, always showing the time at ten, its pendulum too tired to carry out the rhythm of the day. It made me think of the distance (or lack thereof) that lies between Father and me. I want my heart to be set on one thing, one time, one focus- Jesus and His return. To break the movement of time and space, to forget that there is a tomorrow, and that somehow, right here, right now, I am one with my Creator.

Further, I want to be wanted and known, every second of my existence. Not just a casual conversation, words here or there, or a once in a while appearance of Jesus, but an overwhelming presence of delight and satisfaction because there’s no other place He would rather be.

Father, do You wait in heaven? Do You have eternity’s time engrained in your mind, anticipating and counting down the time of our union? Or is time just an antique idea of this world? How long have You screamed my name from Your always-existing, never-ending depths? How long has Love been pursuing me? Do You long for me?

Show me. Prove to me the weight of Your love. I want to fully know, to really know deep down of Your loyalty. I have no idea how to be okay with this distance. But there must be a way, so teach me the companionship of Holy Spirit.

“Oh My son, don’t let your heart be troubled and shaken up. Don’t be terrified inside. You can trust Me because you believe in My Father. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not true, I would have told you. I am in His house now making you your very own place. If I am making you a place in the very house of My Father, I must come back to bring you to it, to live with me forever.”

How do I know where you are, or get to you if I cannot see or feel you?

“Taylor, I am. I am what you long for, the life you want, the way of love you desire, the truth of who you are. You will know more of Father’s heart through knowing Me.”

Let me behold you as you promised I could. How do we make this distance beautiful? How do we grow in desire and love without impatience? How do I learn to love the waiting- the space of time that is full of our anticipation? How do I stand and work faithfully in the fields, and live my life like it is the day before the Wedding?

“By coming to me, over and over again.

“If today was the last day you ever had to breathe on this old, and weary earth, what would you do to remember it, to honor Me in it? Go out my son and live in my blessing and glory. I am coming. I promise. For now, enjoy this world with my presence swirling around you. Don’t see time or the rising and setting of the sun. See the opportunity to increase desire and devotion. Let love abound, for I will abound in you.

“I don’t just sit here and idly watch¬†you. I am listening and working. Soon you will have all the answers to your questions, but let me teach you satisfaction and rest now, in this waiting space. For in you, perfect beauty is growing. What you long for is coming.

“Oh, we’re running to each other, what a collision that will be. Love’s pure echoes will explode with heaven’s light, as all the fragrances of our hearts¬†overflow into the celebrating of all creation.”

He will never let me down because He is constant. Never once does He ever leave the present moment. Even in the space that separates us, He fills and overflows with His Spirit. There is no dimension that slows His love for me. I have all of His attention now and forever.

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