“Oh Lord, you have searched me and have known me.”- Psalm 139:1

Why would God search what he already knows? What is it about me or within me that makes him want to search me even though he knows what’s already there?

The longer I ruminate and chew on Psalm 139, the more wonder and knowledge Holy Spirit releases:

You search me and know me like a dad who plays hide-n-seek with his kids. You know very well where I am and what is within, but you search out of sheer joy because it makes you happy. Because I love to be found.

You adore every one of my motions- nothing bores or is distasteful to you. You understand my thoughts, my hesitations, frustrations, misunderstandings, and my realizations, even though you are world’s apart.

You love to pick apart and observe every detail of my life- not to point out flaws but to magnify beauty.

You’re thoroughly impressed in me, intimately exploring all corners, enjoying your design, your image, your love.

I am that design, image, and love.

You know the things I’ll say even before I have the words because you love to hear them replayed over and over again, like listening to a cassette tape and rewinding it all the way back to the beginning, pressing play again. You enclose me like the mountains, before and behind because you love to get closer; you’re so majestic and strong that no enemy can climb over to get me. Your hand is upon me- not to crush me but to reassure and comfort me that you are always here.

Your presence is everywhere.

Your hand leads me through whatever place I’m in. Even when I am in sin, thinking that there is no hope in darkness and that there’s nothing that will pull me back into the light, you remind me that you’re still with me, leading me. Always. And when you’re with me, there is no such thing as darkness with you for night and day, light and darkness are the same to you.

Dang. I want to get so close to God that I experience no separation of light and darkness. I can’t even comprehend what that means.

You didn’t just let me happen; I was meticulously created by your hands, skillfully hammered and shaped like gold. You wove me together with your DNA, which is my foundation and frame, in the depths of love. You designed me and you continue to perfect me. Nothing can put a hold on your work. Even in my mess, you are still moving toward my perfect completion. Even when I wasn’t in existence, you knew my beginning and all of my future days.

Your thoughts about me are so precious, like rubies, sapphires, and diamonds. If I tried to count them all up, I would never reach the last because your thoughts about me are eternal, like the countless sand on the beaches.

Sand is always multiplying because water and wind break down rock, earth, and coral into fine grains. The ocean will pull sand deep into itself and then wash it back out.

Be like the ocean. Draw your thoughts about me deep into yourself and then wash them back out- all over me. As I get to know what you think of me and who I am, break more of me down into thoughts you wash back out for me to discover.

You know how you feel about every detail of my being and existence; you desire to share those thoughts with me- every single one.

That’s why we are eternal beings. It will take an eternity to listen and learn of every thought and feeling God has for us.

In the beginning, in the most intimate and secret of places, God picked up a handful of dirt, sand, and dust, rubbing and squeezing it between his fingers. Each grain of earth became molded and shaped into his favorite creation. Each grain of earth was a piece of his character, his deepest secrets, his unique mark and thoughts for the creature being designed. And then God breathed his warm breath of energy and the creature came to life, designed to imitate its Creator.

He searches because he knows what I am made of, and when I am ready, he reveals a piece to me. The more I know myself, the more I will know God. But he will never run out of sand because I am eternal. Because I came from God.

 

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